enjoying the summer (if u cud call it that!)...but its sorta laced with this undercurrent of sorrow...from now we're all going our different ways. i dont know why the thot makes me feel so lonely...i find myself memorising faces and moments...everyone is standing around having a blast and i stand there with a smile looking at them worlds away and taking it all in...every last twirl, giggle...it really hurts...the thot of not seeing my crew every day...n i cry inside coz i want them to remember me happy...like they always wanted me to be..

these gals...why do i always let myself get attached? why do i give my all all the time? y does it feel like im growing up...?and why is that thought so scary and painful...the thot that my sisters and i have to leave the rents soon ...i want to be 9 agen...to wake up on the weekend and have "father" read us a story and take us to the beach... everything is changing in front of my eyes and instead of fighting it like ive done all along ive stepped back and just accepted it ...when did that happen? when did i start buying my own travel insurance?!?! y do i feel sad, like nothing will ever b the same?